The Old Pastor

Stroll into any old story, the ones they used to tell
in prairie town coffee-klatch cafés;
the ones they used to share in small sober groups
and store up for mid-week prayer meetings;
the ones the old preacher used for illustrations, down
at the Rock of Ages Church on the edge of the village:
about the young widow gone off to the city;
about the farmer who bailed hay on Sunday;
about the spots of blood on the steps of the beer hall
and the stranger found unconscious outside of town;
about the man who moved in with another man;
about the psychologist’s teenage daughter;
about the Deacon’s son who went to that university;
about the fall and the plagues, AIDS and the pale horse,
about the glorious last harvest of wheat shook from weeds;
“You can’t change,” rumbled the old Reverend,
“unless you fear All Mighty God!”
And when the old pastor retired and a new pastor came
and told stories about birds with broken wings,
about an aunt who mops floors at some inner-city shelter, 
and said, “You can’t change if you don’t love,” many people left
to find the old pastor and talk him out of retirement:
and they built him a new church, where he could
proclaim the word,
but it’s been a big disappointment
as now he only wants to speak 
about the way light can play on the lake
(not once alluding to that fiery one),
about the mystery and beauty of a sinking sun
and hearing drums and wooden flutes coming over the dark water,
and how he isn’t even sure it was God
who stopped the rain in time for the church picnic.
And even though it’s been a couple years since his wife died
he can’t seem to get positive about the Apocalypse.

Sliding Into the Fourth Quarter of Life — The Plush Green Moss of Eight Beatitudes

 

You’re not sure when the rules slipped
out of your filing cabinet to wander beyond
the respectable suburbs and lose their way.
You only know that they have.

You still catch yourself searching your office
fingering through manila folders for official papers,
but you come to, more quickly now,
in a kind of warm intoxication,
a sober little glow
that you share but can’t talk about,
because talking threatens to blow it out.

So you carry it, quietly, curiously, feel its sad intensity,
encompassing and complex, painful and colourful,
ripe with heartache, ripe with rainbows,
rich with an easy uncertainty and an insecurity
that needs no locks or alarms.

It’s like those old stone tablets you broke your teeth on,
were taught and thought meant everything; and all that
underlining, all those notes, research, commentary,
are now covered in the plush green moss of a few beatitudes;
it’s like a moment at the summit of night
and everything fills with impeding dawn;
it’s like the fine-leather leaves of holly,
peaking red in the sufficiency of fall:

no epiphany here, just a bit of honesty,
openness, a bud of clarity,
a not so heavy load,
a little glow
that should light the rest of your way.

Cresting the Coquihalla

Cresting the Coquihalla

Thank you for that evening driving back from Saskatoon
in the golden flush of fall
and a shimmering harvest sun was suspended
over a slough west of Camrose
and you found yourself standing in the ditch, watching,
and the car door was open and Canned Heat was playing,
Going Up the Country.
Thank you John O’Donohue
who taught that beauty, vital as breath,
does not wait for perfection or your special plans.
Give thanks for Thérèse of Lisieux
and all the little unstoppable flowers,
sprouting along the hem of heaven.
Thank you, whoever made the emoticon
of a happy-face wearing heart-glasses.
Thank you workers at Home Depot
for putting a sunny pumpkin-face
on a frowning corporation.
Thanks for all the ordinary goodness,
and ordinary pettiness and private miseries
and Charles Bukowski, who wrote,  
“let us celebrate the stupidity of our endurance,”
releasing us from our treasured bits of self-glory.
Give thanks for all the small kindnesses
and stumbling self-betrayals,
that make up any given day.
Thank you song sparrow.
Thank you for the friend who left the hospital.
Thank you matted grass in the marsh
giving shelter to moles and muskrats.
Thank you Leonard Cohen for leaving us
small explosions of ache and joy
and a manual for living with defeat.
Thank you for all the ripe tomatoes this year
and the ones that didn’t make it;
for all the finished paintings, songs and poems
and the ones that tried to fake it.
Thank you for all the discarded crutches
along the lane to Lourdes
and the wheelchair factory down the road.
Thank you Norman Morrison, Quaker of Baltimore,
speaking your irrefutable language:
you set flame to your body
and named the end of that hateful war.
Thank you luminous palm fronds for giving us fibre
to weave those welcome mats we set at front doors.
Thank you sidewalk covered in cherry blossoms,
we remember you and can’t wait to see you next spring.
Thank you bottle-picker for talking to us;
we are grateful and deeply sad
about all the lines we have yet to erase.
Thank you Stellar’s jay, you make a fucking racket
but in flight your fan tail and blue-blackness pierces our heart.
Thank you dear barista for asking, while pouring coffee,
if we noted the stars this morning,
because we hadn’t and needed just such a gentle reprimand.
Thank you Universe for your timing:
that blue mountain day cresting the Coquihalla
and Jane Sibery came on, singing,
Bound by Beauty.


Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Young Moms seem the Happiest

It is a truth to say
young moms
seem the happiest
of our lot.
It seems trite to say,
there is hope here
and yet it is true
and should batter down
our sophisticated ease
of judging celebrity
and money
as golden goals
we pursue
rat-like
to our own extinction.

Have a thought then
for the young mom
who bends at the crib
to smile and coo
at a sunflower face
with surprised
blackberry eyes
and orchid lips
that stop
all the traffic of earth;
who would give her life
without question
or hesitation
and so lances loose
some core of greed
rooted in the boil
of our culture,
and whether we notice
or not
the world for a moment
is restored.