Without an element of atheism, no religion can be credible. -Fanny Howe
for all our days pass away;
our years come to an end like a sigh. -Psalm 90in them the divine mystery . . . .
the same old beautiful mystery. -Walt Whitman
now: a little trouble at the heart
shallows at the lungs
a cold draft in my bones
my skin is giving up
the light in my eye
once an incandescent furnace
now relies on reflection from an outside source
like an LED screen
it’s like the future is watching my wincing approach
i’m a pressed relic of flower power
but history calls me to wander
then: i was a student of rebellion
a mocker of mortgages
a piqued critic of the status quo
an acolyte of Timothy Leary
turned on, tuned in, dropped out
then dropped out again
returning to capitalism
all was forgiven, but i was forever relegated to consumer status
what choice did i have / you always have a choice
mein innerer Krieg
i’ve returned to Christian faith to keep something alive
childhood maybe
the heart of it
if i had the courage, i might be Catholic
what with their astonishing saints, like Francis
whose life was more poetic than a poem
but St. Peter is still weeping over the bureaucracy at the Vatican
and the absence of sparrows
complete darkness relies on a sliver of light
total light requires a hint of dark
even fervent faith needs the whisper of religion
for ballast
and religion needs adjectives and the glint of doubt
to keep believers off the wet cement of dogma
lately: i’ve been going to a church
stepping out last Sunday
my playlist shuffled up Grateful Dead’s, Friend of the Devil
some still believe God is humourless
“Peter is still weeping over the bureaucracy at the Vatican
and the absence of sparrows”
Are you sure he is weeping?Maybe he has learned some – and changed some – I think
Thanks, Leelah. You may be right, and perhaps, someday down the road, we’ll be able to ask him. 🙂
Your rebel syllabus still shows. Church + Grateful Dead feels right: a sliver of light is plenty. Thank you for sharing, my friend.
Thank you, Cara. Viva la juxtaposition.
I think sometimes I could be Catholic too, except for an absence of sparrows.
And eventually I’ll be back in a church, but perhaps I’m not old enough yet.
Bless you for your open humanity, as real as Jesus’s handshake x
Thanks for this, Ana Lisa. I always appreciate your take. And yes, you’re not old enough. 🙂
I am touched again by your words.
Thank you, Stephen
Thank you so much, Slavka.
such a universal inner war . seemingly unnecessary, but then like your house right near the freeway, this is where we are placed to wake up
“returning to capitalism
all was forgiven, but i was forever relegated to consumer status
what choice did i have / you always have a choice
mein innerer Krieg”
Thank you for that, Ananda. It does seem that we require unsettling to wake us up.
You could do worse than be a Catholic. I just read a book by the brother of a friend on the case for Protestantism and what’ wrong with Catholic theology. But being stuck in the dogma or wet cement is what really needs to be avoided! Nice work here,
Thanks for this, Sam.