To rise and walk with reverence

In the heart-sick shadows of grief from daily outbreaks of violence and hate: what else but to rise and walk with reverence and vigilant humanity.

(With acts and prayers for New Zealand.)

To walk with reverence under the conversation of trees,
to lie in the still-warm deer-flattened circles of fescue,
to know the wind by the bend of willows,
to watch the way a diving duck takes wing,
to sow silence among the rank shoots of disquiet,
to fend for the rivers that carry the waste of our industry,
to pray beneath the electric icicles in the centre of a decaying city,
to stop for Lucille who begs beside the Royal Bank,
to release regret to waves, the woods, the wind,
to flee the noose of comparison,
to trust the nail in your heel to strengthen you,
to be true to a moment of insight for the rest of your life,
to wonder at the extravagance of stars,
to travel beyond your treasured conclusions,
to serve a calling through every failure,
to bear the weight of heartache,
to resist the lie of fear that leads to violence,
to speak against the militant spirit of division,
to rise and set out in the absence of hope,
to sing under the sentence of chance and oblivion,
to exhale the horizon and breathe the landscape at hand,
to study the fog for a small flame,
to be shade for the fevered,
to light the time you’re in,
to love the whole day through,
to watch for the homeward angel,
these are instructions for the pilgrim.

Why the World Doesn’t End – for International Women’s Day 2019

This poem, written several years ago, is an attempt, although inadequate, to pay tribute to the women in my life who have shown me how to live on this earth. But also, it’s in honour of all who inhabit the feminine soul, that spirit of resiliency with its desire to create and nurture beauty in spite of life’s loss and pain.

Why the World Doesn’t End

I know a woman who says,
joy is a drink that always spills.
But she carries on, when at dawn,
her plans are scattered
by a cold dry wind.
I know another woman
who fought a large machine,
was bloodied, but stayed true to her terms.
I know a woman whose teeth
—biblical promise notwithstanding—
were set on violent edge from sour grapes
eaten by her own parents.
I know more than one woman,
whose trust was twisted
by the double-bind of a paternal God.
I know a woman
whose words keep the soil mellow
and bring blossoms to wild currant bushes.
One woman I know paints
sun-raked ponds and stargrass,
evokes the songs of wind on canvas.
I know a woman who pours wisdom
into teachers’ teacups,
and understanding,
into the cupped hands of children.
One woman I know carries on by the comfort
she spreads—hush your mind,
and you can hear her sing an ocean.
I know one woman who lives
under a foot of frozen pain,
waiting, against the pressed fist
of permafrost.

And when the world’s asleep,
I’ve seen these women gather,
arm in arm,
at the water’s edge of hope and sorrow,
open their mouths,
and let the moon
shine down their throats.

The Incredible Fact of Existing at All

What’s to account for it?
Spin of some colossal roulette wheel?
Divinely timed orchestration of interlinked events?
Blind dispassionate physics?
Beneficent universal consciousness?
Time?
God?

What’s to account for this unraveling crosshatch of conscious matter
paddling (peddling?) his craft against the outgoing tide?
Always casting two shadows:
half atheist, half believer,
half cynical, half hopeful,
half resentful, half merciful,
half hiding and half searching for a version of himself
that would rise daily and peer serenely over this world of trouble,
half hiding, half searching for a vision
that finally lifts him into a knowledge of being,
     yet never sure he could live with such a wound. 

But today, he walks an ancient beach
under the apse of sky, on an alter of island,
incense of western hemlock sifting a southern sun,
stained-glass clouds lit brilliant from behind,
chorus of shore, shell, gull, otter, prayer
of trawler moving toward the Strait of Georgia,
     and for a moment, everything fades but gratitude,
        and his body welcomes him home.

Backrooms of the heart

We can be redeemed only to the extent to which we see ourselves.  -Martin Buber

And that’s the problem.
Who goes looking through the backrooms of their hearts these days?
Who even speaks of those dark interiors?

Well, not me.
Yesterday, for example, I followed Christ through the house,
room to room,
turning off every light he switched on.
Steering him away from the hatch door to the crawl space
where I keep all those boxes that wait,
     never to be opened.

I’m not saying it’s hopeless.
Most of us, me included, keep a floor lamp on.
Enough to be sociable.
Just enough incandescence to keep from some incriminating slip.
Enough to keep the little criminal in the crypt,
     stop the homunculus corpse from rising to its nightly riot.

Scorning (and admiring) from a distance,
the few bright lights that walk out to the edge of town
     and disappear.
Hearing scraps of sound coming back through the fog:
low moans and gasps,
dropped keys and running feet,
and growing faint, more felt than heard:
a shout, a yawp, a blast of belly-laugh,
trumpet, harp, timbrel, cymbal,
a hegemony of harmony,
     and singing…is that singing?
Waiting for one or two to return,
     but they never do.