Mercy and Truth meet at Zelig’s Pub

Mercy and truth are met together,
righteousness and peace have kissed each other.
Truth shall spring out of the earth,
and righteousness shall look down from heaven.
                        – Psalm 85

If I could call you, I’d tell you, how after everything
     Mercy won out…
          and Beauty leavened every heart… later, I’d report,
Mercy and Truth met at Zelig’s Pub, they’ll spend a century celebrating,
Mercy, telling anyone who’ll listen, 
saying, “It’s like the birth of a river
or a diamond cove, or an auburn moon…”

but maybe you’d see through that, maybe you
can see me from where you are,
watering my couch, personifying in the dark,
pretending the morning will bring a revelation.

Of course there’s no Zelig’s Pub in this neighbourhood,
it’s just some crazy vision of heaven
I’m working on
to outlast this limbo.

Some days I ache to call and ask what it’s like there —
is there a “then” or a “now”?
a “shall” or an “ought”?
but no technology yet for that.
Do you remember “here”? can you
see everything? is it all laid out for you on some grid?
Can you look up all the times we were together?

like the time we went fishing?
I wasn’t keen but you said it would give us time —
out there on the plank dock,
our hooks in the water held up by bobbers,
and us on our backs betting on who could see
the farthest into the sky,
who could see the bluest blue,
and no way to measure — no telling who won.
I was just happy to take your word for it.

If we could sit and talk, I’d describe
to you how Righteousness, at last,
has settled a world of arguments, and Peace,
that prodigal, has stopped gaming and come home.
You’d know I was lying, but love would cover that.

You will however be relieved to know
that Righteousness, as we’d mistakenly pictured,
doesn’t look like Principal Hegarty — always pacing
and twisting his brass bracelet around his thick wrist,
but looks just like little Dinah
who spends her days on the swing at the Rotary Park,
like it’s her business,
while her mother looks on, lost and marveling.

Lately they’re saying a new end is coming,
that when Dinah grows up,
she’ll fall head-over-heels for Peace,
and they’ll never again be apart.

But I don’t know. Can you tell from where you are?
Lord knows, Truth is wandering around these days looking lost —
yet never once deviating from her story, I’ll give her that;
telling anyone who’ll listen, “Open your eyes, you’ll find it.”
saying, “It’s like a sunlit spring in the wilderness
watering stony paths and arid plains, softening ruts and ridges,
making green pastures where all kinds of people can picnic…”     

     …and here we all are,
          still fighting over what it is.

‘This Feeling’ by Alabama Shakes — An Ode

Sometimes when I’m feeling down,
which can happen in the early hours after midnight,
I’ll open my laptop and look for that particularly
nice thing you said about my picture on Instagram
and I’ll read it over several times — carefully.

Sometimes in the middle of night
when all the Facebook posts are sleeping,
looking sweet and innocent,
I’ll creep in so as not to disturb them
and add a brief note with a link to a video,
like the one on Youtube by Alabama Shakes,
close the lid and lie in the dark, see the singer
brimming, her whole soul showing,
hear the song in my head until it fades, and
before I sleep I think how different she is from me,
and wonder if she’d agree to a coffee.

Sometimes when I rise at 4 AM and leave
the warmth of the beautiful sleeper beside me
I’ll find my chair in front of the dark window
and open my Spotify playlist, the one I’ve named Red Tree,
full of slow melancholy instrumentals that have titles
like, Nest and It Feels like Floating and Moonbow
and it’s as though I’ve been given a warm blanket
to throw over my troubled spirit;

and that’s when I think of the morning I rode
my bicycle to work at the Alberta Wheat Pool
in late fall: fog had settled over dawn and above the sound
of bike tires rolling over gravel
I hear the soft pounding of hooves coming from the ditch
and at the curve by the marsh
I make out the slender shapes of white-tail deer
running with me, sailing over slough grass
and I race and they keep pace
then explode ahead of me and scatter across the stubble field
like dark purple flares flying.
“That’s the morning,” I’ll say over coffee to the woman
from Alabama Shakes, “I had that same feeling.”

The aging process is well maintained

Taken at the J. Paul Getty Gallery

The aging process is well maintained

unlike these morning knees that ask attention
while I climb upstairs to the kitchen;

or these hair follicles that have dried up,
leaving the crop thinner by season,

indicating, finally, there will be no harvest
down at Billy Victory’s Barber Shop.

And the small gland that swells in the dark
and sends me on nightly missions

of such shallow intrigue
is hardly worth my tantrums. Now,

along with dry eye, I’ve developed floaters:
small vitreous detachments that swim

in and out of view, creating misty
landscapes where this phrase should be;

or where the back of my hand should be, which,
contrary to the idiom, I know less and less about.

But sometimes when these eyes look out
under the blue genuine glory of sky,

I’m startled by clarity — taken
to some other side, where Van Gogh

is still painting his swirling saffron stars
and joyous purple irises with that single white

shepherding one,
and I grow grateful for all the little absences

that may yet
                         help me see.

Your Body Speaking

Your Body Speaking

Don’t lie to me.
I have never lied to you.
I’ve even asked you to alter me, when it became imperative.
So trust me, I will lead you.
Receive me, don’t hate me.
Don’t say you’re dissatisfied with my form
or dislike the image I cast back from the glass.
Or rather, when you say it,
pause,
              and step away.
Sit in this chair.
Place both feet on the floor.
Take this hand and rest it here,
on my chest, sternum or stomach,
don’t dismiss the tightness, feel it,
say hello to the tension of your fear, anxiety, ambition,
welcome the strain of disquiet with kindness,
welcome it the way you welcome your collie,
tender, the way you are with your best friend’s baby,
and invite me to breathe — 

              to breathe and be still.

Go ahead and notice all the calling-away thoughts.
Acknowledge the weary trail of worried characters
filing through the mental part of you.
Now release them the way healing skin sheds scabs
and feel your way back to me.
Join me.
Read me.
Take a survey beginning with hair, scalp, ears, mouth,
feel any damp, heat, cold, dry…throat, neck, wondrous spine…
feel the colours, the shades of cool and warm
and move slowly down,
imagine warm fragrant oil flowing down,
covering everything, flowing into joint and marrow,
filling fat cells, lean cells,
              awakening the body’s holy water,
feel the goodness percolating up and outward,
the goodness that was always there.

When we are together like this we can say the word soul,
be the word spirit-matter;
see our own small sun slipping above the cloud.

Having left the world of sirens to join the human dance
we are at peace, we are deep listeners,
yet able to speak the truth with nothing less
than the force of a crocus
thrust up through February snow.

This is a meditation for the adventurer.