After Too Much Time Scanning News

While this lands somewhere beyond the spirit of Grow Mercy there may be a few here with a slight appetite for this bit of throw-away foolishness. (For anyone else, please forgive my straying, I will make it up to you.) You see I admit to a voyeuristic fascination with American politics; but I do try being vigilant to limit that lure. As you no doubt know, too much time spent cruising ‘media outlets’ and you’ll find yourself in a sea of despondency. Nevertheless, right now, it’s hard not to pay attention to the (sadly bizarre?) spectacle of the US election. Recently, one morning after a couple hours spent scanning NYT and WP and surfing CNN, I found myself writing this poem as a bit of purgative relief. I then thought to send it off to Rattle, a California-based poetry magazine, to ‘Poets Respond’ (a weekly current events contest). It made the editor laugh, so they published it.

Here, for what it’s worth, is the link.


(I post this while still in the shadow of my friend’s passing: knowing he would have probably smiled at this.)

 

Aged Pioneer Among Aspens – The Death of a Friend

Ray turned 90 last month. The occasion found him writing a series of reflections. They usually involved his thoughts while on his daily walk along the Sturgeon River in St. Albert, Alberta. Here’s part of one he sent me a few weeks ago:

The Northwest wind is blustery, providing welcome protection from mosquitoes. Strolling over the trestle requires vigilance to keep my walking stick from being pushed across my legs.

Entering the shelter of robust aspen trees I hear the leaves, a liquid sound, water over rocks, and recall being lulled to sleep at a campsite beside a stream in Yoho National Park.

Farther up the trail I hear a squeak amidst a gust of wind. I pause until the next rush of wind. Surrounded by aspens, I see a large dead spruce with wind stress cracks, and up and down its body, woodpecker carpentry.

Before too long this aged pioneer among aspens will join the chaotic wind-fall at the side of the trail to become nutrient for future generations.

Previously, I passed an aspen. Its bark blackened at the base, perhaps lightening. In spite of the damage it supports a healthy marquee. This sturdy tree shows no evidence of stress when gusts of wind occur.

As I hike under the liquid sound of aspen leaves I pause; being ninety, I feel a kinship with these trees.

Ray was a Mennonite missionary, a high-school teacher, a college instructor (NAIT), a philosopher/theologian/metaphysician, a progressive questioner of his own tradition, a compassionate humanist, a mystic realist, with, to the end, an insatiable curiosity. An irrepressible, irreplaceable soul. Friend. And still, always, deeply in love with his wife Ginny, who passed away only six-months ago.

Just the other day he sent me a note on the last line of a poem I had written, concerning our expanding universe. Here’s part of his rumination:

… It has been determined, even measured, that an increase in velocity increases mass. Given my total Universe velocity what is my mass without current velocity? Would I even exist?

Einstein, in energy = the speed of light squared, expresses a relationship between the speed of light and mass. Light, a special case, has wave and mass characteristics.

Is that mass an electron? Is this why there is relationship between mass and the speed of light?

Universe is Motion? Motion is Universe? Love is a verb?

When Ray was 85 he asked me to speak at his funeral, which now, because of this pandemic, won’t happen. That’s okay, his own words are better. Written the afternoon before he died — peacefully, in his arm chair — this is how he ended that meditation:

This is too much for my tenth decade grey cells. I will go for a walk in Nature where the frequency of my star dust atoms occasionally become tuned to the frequency of Nature’s star dust atoms and be transported to Spirituality in the essence of the Universe.

Resting in Mystery, Ray

Oh my, I miss you Ray.

Line-up at the Pearly Gates

Trust Meghan to cut in, and Jim to jump the queue,
and Chloris to bring her Brobdingnagian purse,
with which to threaten, one surmises, the likes of a Meghan or Jim.
Pragmatic Eric brought a lunch, some fine post-perish planning there.
But who knew there’d be a line-up around the block —
and this ain’t no ordinary block, hell, it’s celestial.

So here we stand, as in life, a lost cluster of pale stars,
a bedraggle of bleaters mustered for shearing,
a sweetness of lambs, a bullying of rams,
a ravishment of ravens, a hauntment of swans,
all of us stained by the same Neverlandish light,
all of us looking left and right,
astonishingly naked,
holy, commensurate.

The talk coming down the whisper-wire
is that God h/erself is the hold-up.
Word has it the Petrine admin team
has been overly fastidious — and is being reviewed.

All through the procession there are wide-eyed ripples of excitement,
murmurations of maybes, some saying right out loud,
“Good God, perhaps we’ll all get in!”
And/but, there are undercurrents from the righteous-lifers,
and the hastily formed Committee for Piety preemtively
issues a statement:
“Grace, yes, but there’s got to be limits:
         Make heaven great again!”

The balkanization is automatic.
The column divides, and, as in life, strife, rife with resentment, reigns;
and the decision, regards destination, appears ready-made:
         sooner hunker in hell, than dine together in heaven.

To Wake in the Dark and Stand in the Expanding Constant

to wake in the dark
to go outside and stand on the gravel driveway
looking up at a quarter moon     not hear birds
to climb the stairs to the kitchen
splash face with warm water
put the kettle on
open the glass patio door and let the air in
peel a grapefruit
pour boiling water over ground coffee
smell the peppery bitterness and linger over the cup
to sit in the dimness     cross-legged on the couch     sipping
to read a poem    go slow over some lines    type some words
listening for an opening     an exit     an answer
to almost hear one in the low hollow note of earth’s wood flute
to feel the deep melancholy of the predawn world
to wait for some connection     some foothold
friends you haven’t seen for an age     in whose presence
you want to say so much     mean so much
and are left mute     incarcerated by self-questioning
a condition you can write about     but not say
to eyes across a table
only adding to the loneliness that adheres
to all living things     meaning     this entire universe
that keeps searching the void     wall-less     endless cave 
stretching     seeking     expanding 
another 3000 miles by the time
you’ve read to here