To my Daughter on her 20th Birthday

When my daughter learned to walk, she loved to wear colourful boots and carry a small purse at her wrist. Her boots, however, could never touch mud or snow. That would deface them and detract from the colour.

An early “screamer,” a sometimes crier, but no tears. She’s given to us, we discover, without tear glands.

A childhood with bouts of pain, and pain still. It seems she never quite reaches the full bloom of health.

And yet, inspite of, or because of, who knows, she grows and continues to grow a beautiful soul, a serene and buoyant spirit and the heart of a healer-poet.

Brighter than the sum of her genetic benefactors…this shows up in her curiosity of things biological, philosophical and literary.

And while it occasionally leaves her exhausted, she’s carried by a thirsty and generative energy.

But sometimes, moods can strike her, melancholies, poignancies, a kind of weltschmerz, and she becomes too introspective.

And too, she can be overly desirous of not disappointing.

There’s a part of her she keeps hidden, where she tends to a delicate flame. A flame she needs to guard. It’s this that I’ve seen burning deep in her eyes.

Through it all she learns to be a hater of injustice, a lover of compassion and kindness and equality. And she also becomes a card caring Green-peacer, a sign of her love of the earth and of growing things.

And now, for a summer “job,” she has given herself to a family, but specifically to a 30 year old woman who, from birth, due to a lack of oxygen, is without use of limb, speech, continency–a bent misshapen body, weighing only 70 pounds. But, I’m told, a beautiful face and eyes, harbouring an unseen intelligence.

Between the woman’s episodes of epilepsy, my daughter changes, bathes, reads to, sings to, and takes her for walks. She grows stronger by carrying her.

Terylswing

Terylstair

Teryl, a willow, supple, flexible, exposed; and beneath ground, so much going on. Part clown, part mystic.

Living with Squirrels

I’m going away. Two and a half days (a beginning, more to come I hope) of hermitage life at my cabin in the bush.

Life in the fast lane.

Life with the black-cap chickadees, nut-hatches and pine siskins. Life with the squirrels. And with the blue bells and begonias in the enclave that are ready to burst, and with the ferns that are running wild in the fen. And with the tiny wild strawberries that grow in our ditches.

Life with my fire pit and ax and dead fall and punky poplar.

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Afternoons with eye-level green and shifting blue skies. And evenings with a book or two.

At twilight, perhaps a concession to a cuban…with the added benefit that it helps keep the mosquitoes away.

Life with the gill-on-the-ground that never stops growing.

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White Stripes at Hope Mission

A cool thing happened at our Mission last Saturday.

Devon K., Hope Mission’s Youth Sports Centre manager was not put off by what might have been an email hoax. He checked it out, made a call, and a couple days later, some Detroit punk-blues in the form of the White Stripes performed in front of the lime green wall of our own Tegler Youth Centre.

White Stripes

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Spiritual Formation and Briercrest

My hour with the Spiritual Formation class–a diverse group, ages, backgrounds, professions–was actually a delightful experience. And I know Deb’s presentation of the Enneagram was great…many comments.

I talked about Benedictine spirituality and mindfulness, and on spiritual disciplines. I was encouraged by the reception and the questions.

One question–a hard one–was whether I thought my spiritual formation, my Benedictine path, was making me a better person.

How do I measure that? I did find something like an answer. In 1984, when I began volunteering in Edmonton’s inner city, I was out to save people…but I didn’t really see people. Today, that agenda is gone. I can no longer fathom seeing people as ministry opportunities. I see them, like I see myself, simply and profoundly human, trying to make sense of this world and our place in it.

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To a certain sectarian view of Christianity I have lost my way. I think I’m finding it.


Thank you Briercrest Seminary and everyone in the Formation class. (For anyone interested in references or whatever, I’ve posted my presentation in the Benedictine Journey page.)

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