Sun-rhythm

Friday, and I watch the sun rise over the LA airport. It’s industrial art and it wedges its way into my cranial creases. I don’t mind.

sunsetLAX In my life, a sunrise has almost always had a salutary effect, even when what is revealed is boxy urban blight. Because there’s a moment somewhere in that span when it’s just you and the sun. And a harmonic is set up.

Sure, there have been those days when the sun was unwelcome because it rose out of time and turn. Oh–and I blamed it. Blamed the sun because it was always me that had to change. Never it. Always me that had to reorient and resynchronise.

I did have a choice. And I applied it at times. I would go off scolding the new light –refuse to straighten my bed. My petulance and anger would shame it until I imagined it dipping back behind the broad line. But it just roared, laughing at me from behind my burning curtain, until I relinquished and received its turning.

There will always be the discordant notes that flatten or crash-up our day. But sometimes, even in death, there is a rhythm that feels, if not right, at least not altogether a discomfort.

The news today is that a relative has died–my brother-in-law’s mother. The news was not unexpected.

Her’s was an ordinary hard working life full of giving. A life that felt all the flats and sharps, and lived the gleaming and the dark gloaming of many days. Spared neither the waves of pain or joy.

There was no surprise ending here. Just a timely setting of a ripe and ready life. The sun set in full view.

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Inscape Insight

In relation to the notion of a disarmed heart, I’d like to invite Grow Mercy readers to my wife’s website.

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Here’s an introductory insight from Deb Berg – Life-coach.

Inscape Training & Mentoring exists to guide people toward a more bluebutterfly compassionate world. When we fail to see through the lens of self-awareness we self-justify and self-condemn – 2 forms of self-violence. This violence towards ourselves leads to violence towards others. Increasing our self-awareness will allow us in turn to treat others in more compassionate ways. Imagine a world where we all were learning to live in harmony with ourselves and others. Are you ready to do your part?

My crowns

Had my gums lasered to facilitate, I’m told, a proper fit for my new crowns. Think of it as inserting a tongue depressor between your gingivae and an upper cusped. Or perhaps using a rat-tail file for a root canal.

So, scrambling for some relief, as well as a way to spur on healing, you can imagine my delight in stumbling across the Vibra-finger.

I admit to having had some reservations…but then I saw the Dentist recommendation and his picture, right there on the ad.

vibrafinger

The sweet part, besides the great price, is that I can dab some vitamin-E on the finger tip, right under the finger nail, plug the baby in and find that perfect Gum-spot for quick therapeutic respite. Oh the wonders of our age. And it’s sanitary and comes with a travel case!

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A disarmed heart

I introduced myself, thanked him for his talk on "centering prayer," and turned to leave. Father James stopped me and said, "I wonder if you’d be able to come by my hermitage for tea, and we could talk. I sense a sort of connection between the two of us."

father james grey

That fall seven years ago, as I sat having tea with a man, in every degree, more intelligent, prayerful, disciplined, current, I understood what a disarmed heart looks like. We sat together, me, a neophyte, him, open, like the books on his table–believing that he may have something to learn from me. Which is, I’ve learned, the way of disarmed hearts.

A disarmed heart has no refuge except in the hearts of others.
A disarmed heart breaks often enough.
A disarmed heart carries a load of longing for peace.
A disarmed heart bears ridicule, is used to being misunderstood, but is still brimming with mercy. 
A disarmed heart disarms the hearts in the room.
A disarmed heart has left the domain of fear and is angry at injustice.
A disarmed heart doesn’t wield the word love violently.
A disarmed heart is its own refuge.

This is what was etched within, after many afternoon and evening teas with Father James.

None of my understanding, meager as it is, has ever come to me disembodied.