Brash Rookie at Relationship

35 years ago today, I was this brash rookie at nuptial relationship,
confident I could stick-handle my way
through any defense line and score;
would even use crap metaphors like that
and think, Geez Steve,
you’ve captured the profundity of commitment.

35 years ago I said things like, “I can’t imagine living without you,”
or, “As long as I have you, nothing else matters,”
or, “ I need you more than air,” no, I’m sure I never said that,
maybe something abbuting.

You remember, right?
those things you said — on and around your wedding day,
dedication day, celebrate-the-bond day —
you said with conviction.
Well, speaking personally, besides the nominal cheese,
there was a big load of “I” and “my” in them.
I mean, just when you’re hitting the honeymoon road,
“You are my everything,” upon close inspection, 
breathes cling wrap, has this weird veneer of sticky fear, 
could almost say: patina of possession.

Thing is, it’s not altogether conscious,
and about those gushes, you’re not being dishonest,
hell, you’re as genuine as the days of your life,
but there’s no anchor to it,
the amber hasn’t set yet.
You’ve no idea the number of fender benders
that’ll need estimates, costly repairs.
And it’s the fool who thinks he can get it done on the cheap:
some 25-year-old pastor’s filler-putty,
Clint’s In ‘n Out Counselling.

Well there you go, I still use crap metaphors,
but 35 years later,
when I tell her, “There’s just you and me sweetheart,”
I think, funny how some cheese ages tasty,
or when I say, “I need you more than air,”
(which I actually said to her just now!)
I’m not sure I could muster anything truer.