Banner of pain
For T.B., and for anyone who knows someone suffering with Trigeminal Neuralgia; and for those who suffer.
I will just come out and say that my rage on behalf of your pain,
when spent,
mocks the hell out of me.
I thought that if I had the grit to kneel through knife-edge nights,
fanning coals of invocation,
blazing with the pleas of Jacob,
wrestling with any angel,
gripping God’s great leg,
you would wake up laughing
the way you did in your child’s body.
It was tempting to think a father’s anguish could reach that high,
had the weight to strike some rock
and steer the gush of healing waters.
What gain then to throw this ache at the sky?
but to rise in the shaky light of morning,
go with hands unfolded
to hold you and tell you to count on me
to rescue you from every lonely highway,
wait with you through any lengthening shadow,
carve a new walking stick every time you lose one
and help carry your silent banner of pain.
What would Job say?
for truly no words can be spoken when an enemy mocks and ravages your children….
but there is One greater…..
Isaiah 53 – like a father.
Thank you Karen.
So has to be challenging for all…..Hugs and love sent your way. Let me know if there is anything else that naybe helpful
Thank you Kathleen.
When I read “throw this ache at the sky”, the line “And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries…” from Shakespeare’s sonnet surfaced.
The analogies of Jacob and Moses and the reference to the baby’s body poignantly reveal levels of pain experienced by those who love holders of this banner.
Thank you Raymond. Precise words of care and compassion.
Like deafness, Trigeminal Neuralgia is not visual, neither is T.N.’s physical pain, nor
the anguished, fruitless “coals of invocation” that arise. What powerful ‘imagery’ nonetheless, to invoke Jacob’s “gripping God’s great leg” at Jabbok! Thanks for the visual banner regarding F.P. Awareness Week.
Thank you so much Ike.
Weeping here….
Thank you Sam.