A big bang love

There is a place between day and night, or at least equidistant to both day and night, that invites apprehending. This morning, or last night (either time is right) I thought I saw it, if seeing is the right word.

As broad as it is, it was razor thin, a point really, the end of a pin perhaps. But not knowing the size of pin who’s to say how broad its point. Anyway, in the moment of my seeing, I thought, ah, this is the place where energy beings to organize itself and hive off matter; and where matter in turn is rendered down for its soul-proteins and spirit-fats—available again for animating matter.

As well, I saw that this is a place where hope has body: where, at the terminus of time, hope, like a pod, cracks open and showers beginnings over the land like spores or pollens.

This place, for I wouldn’t know what else to call it except place, returns upon itself daily, or perhaps it’s the place that turns days to nights and nights back again, a place where twilight is tangled up with dawn.

As it is, it’s difficult to say because it vanishes the moment you turn your head toward the window, that is, the moment you attempt a grasping focus. It only tolerates a relaxed regard.

You may as well stay on your side facing west, or north or south; east for that matter (which you might think would be the preferred direction to gaze) because direction has no meaning here.

All gazes, here or there, because they see as far in as out, exactly balance. And this of course suspends time, or makes all things be at once; or better, places you, the one who gazes exactly inwardly and outwardly, in a sustained present that can best be described as serene.

That a peaceful present might be protracted indefinitely simply by being properly situated is a longing begging to be dashed—no doubt. But there it was, a perceived flash of the everlasting; a place that invited apprehending, but is beyond apprehension, a kind of peaceful presence that can only be reached, or received, by way of a benign reclining within a kind of blind longing.

If I saw it accurately, if I spent lucid a moment there, I’d have to say it  turns out to be a big elemental love; all possibility; Love’s big bang.