Actual things heard at RAH day surgery:

Overheard in pre-op:
First Nurse: What’s taking her? Second nurse: She’s trying to get the ring out of her lip.
A patient to a nurse: I suffer from panic attacks so what ever you do you’re going to have to keep me calm.
A nurse to a patient: You can undress in here, you’re not supposed to be in here, but we’re really full and it’s just a rule.
Nurse to man: These anti-clotting leggings are really quite fashionable.

Overheard in pre-surgical waiting area and surgical room:
A patient to man: So what are you in for? Interjecting Anesthesiologist: Oh ya, it’s a sentence!
Nurse rolling man to surgery: Here is our lovely hallway…here we have the surgical rooms…that’s a scrub nurse. Scrub nurse at sink with suds to elbows: This is all I do, I’m always here. Nurse to man: She’s here so I don’t get lost.  …Here we are, this is your room. Let me see the band on your wrist one more time to make sure we have the right person. Assistant surgical nurse to man: Here’s your nice narrow bed…and yes, you get to be under the bright lights. Anesthesiologist to man: Hello again…just breath naturally…it’s only oxygen…now, here comes your sleep medicine.

Overheard in post-op:
Nurse: Have you ever had morphine before? Man: Not legally.
A nurse to a patient: I know it looks like a lot of blood, but really, you’d know if it was a lot of blood.
A Mother: So what did you put on your Facebook this morning? Patient (son): Goodbye Gallbladder!
Nurse to man: Please hold on to your IV pole, I’m not very good at catching people.