The valency of comfort plus fashion has finally come to the sport of competitive eating.
Marcy and Margo may not be in the league of Korea’s Kobayashi or America’s Joey Chestnut (66 hotdogs in 12 minutes) but when it comes to gastro-fashion they have no peers.
The stunning voluminous Emu sweater, pregnant with judge-appealing pattern, will ensure every bulge stays hidden. At the same time, while every drop of blood races to your gastrointestinal tract, the warmth of Emu wool will keep the hypothermic death-chills at bay.
Subtly complementing the Emu top, but making it all work, are the stretch pants. Made of a blend of Lycra for flex, and fiberglass for strength, they hug without the personal-space-constricting ways of your annoying uncle.
The secret is in the waistband which is anchored to your breastbone by a super-strength polymer adhesive. Comfortably positioned halfway between crotch and nape, the waistband, with inflatable option, absolutely ensures no embarrassing pant slippage during actual gorging, while minimizing the chances of regurgitation.
Not a gastric gladiator? No matter. The Emu sweater and stretch pants ensemble looks good and feels even better at every and any BBQ.
Enjoy the dogs, and have a lovely weekend.
Wow, I didn’t know what I was missing out on. I really need to get myself an emu sweater. And the stretch pants… sheer genius.
I think styles like these should catch on with today’s Christian woman – burka-like to shield the flesh, but up to date for the stay at home mom barbecuing on a chilly night for her husband and family. Not a chance of an errant nipple here. And glad to see you’re making appropriate choices and advocating some tried and true family clothing values. Too bad para-church ministries don’t offer fashion alternatives. A search of Focus on the Family’s site was fruitless, but I did find an interesting resource that is somewhat related. A new publication, “A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality”, offers practical pointers for Dads concerned that their sons display homosexual tendencies. I really liked the suggestion that you take your effeminate squire to the gas station and let him hold the gas pump and insert the nozzle into the tank. Why can’t we hear manly helps like this in the liberal press? I guess it’s worldly-world views need only apply.
From competitive eating to fashion to preventing homosexuality…
About the book on gay prevention…you must know that the authors are endorsed by so many important Christian people. And why not. Consider the following:
The authors tell a woman after a short phone conversation that her 5-year-old son has a 75 percent chance of growing up “homosexual, bisexual, or transgender.” Why? Because he loves the colors pink and red and plays with Barbie dolls. Because his father is distant.
One word: “Saved!”
See this movie!
You will laugh, you will cry, you will grit your teeth and steam… recalling conversations and colloquialisms with the “enlightened.”