On Being a Conduit

He heals the broken-hearted, and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. (Psalm 147)

You would imagine that God, who determines the number of stars, has no problem binding up wounds and healing broken hearted people. No doubt, both have certain challenges. But those special challenges, what ever they may be, are God’s. Good thing.

I had a friend in high school who migrated to the coast with a group of us. We went to see what was there and to find what we could find.

We were not far into our twenties when he began to believe he could move stars with his newly expanded mind. He also believed, as things progressed, that he could travel to the stars, fly within their orbits, accompanying them on their stellar ways. And all this astral journeying without leaving the couch.

When he returned he would tell us stories about what it was like. And when we got tired of listening he would go downtown Victoria and corral strangers and tell them. When they got tired, which was pretty well immediately, he began to walk in traffic with his eyes closed, moving the approaching cars out of his way with his hyper-expanded mind.

Later, we would visit him in the hospital where we met his new doctor friend who challenged us to figure out the acronym MDMD. We shrugged and he laughed, and pointing to his head, spouted, "Medical Doctor Manic Depressive". Me, I just wanted to take my friends head in my hands and reshape it.

I wonder why anyone would venture to think that they have the power to heal broken souls. Perhaps this is the reason these two verses from the 147th song–about stars and hearts–are juxtaposed. There is always a temptation to attribute any "success" at helping people to ourselves. So the tip from the Psalm is when this temptation arises just decide to determine the creation of stars as well. That should set you straight.

As soon as we think that we are "sources", we cut off the true Source from flowing through us. And if and when there is any healing of hearts and souls, it is because of something that flows between the Source and those involved. Making the mistake to suppose that we are anything but conduits is just as delusional as the hallucinations my friend still suffers, these thirty years later. But, being a conduit true to your own special shape is a most beautiful thing.

To the motion of the Spirit…be true.

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