November is Family Violence Prevention Month. I was reminded of this when I received the Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters’ newsletter. The cover letter asks us to consider this over our next "coffee break". 
- In the time it takes to brew a cup of tea, 3 woman in Canada will be assaulted by an intimate partner.
- In the time it takes for an average coffee break – a child in Canada will be physically or sexually assaulted by a family member.
- In the 24 hours it take to produce tea leaves into a tea bag – 31 abused women and their children will seek refuge in Alberta’s shelters.
How tragic that with all our advantages, we in Alberta have the shadowy distinction of leading the country in spousal assault, stalking, and domestic murder/suicide.
What can we do? Refuse to be silent. Name violence as violence. And in the larger community, be prepared to lobby, write, and boycott.
Such was the case with many good folks in America–who by the way, just had their own Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October. To Fox and HarperCollins, October was apparently old news, or it just didn’t register. These giant media outlets were poised to do interviews and publish O. J. Simpson’s book, "If I did It." But a beautiful thing happened. Ordinary and yes, some powerful people, said, "enough already!"
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This topic raises passionate feelings within me. Feelings of the need for justice and education. Men need to understand that abuse does not begin with the physical or sexual abuse act but rather with an attitude. Derogatory comments that “put women in their place” are the beginnings of abuse. Until men truly respect women within their minds the actions will continue to happen. Until men stand against men when snide comments, touches or gestures are made then it will continue. Let’s begin with ourselves and stand against this “unrighteousness” rather than sitting back and feeling that there’s nothing we can personally do about it.
I would like to add something else to my original thoughts…
I do recognize that it is not only women who are abused and that men are not the only abusers. Too many young boys have been abused at the hands of parents (male or female) or other adults. This then sets up something broken that becomes ingrained and repeatable due to the insidious nature of it. This is abhorable.
At the same time it is no excuse that allows someone to do abuse another. There is always places of help that can teach us new patterns of living. At the same time when a women acquieses/allows this kind of behaviour, she does in some form become complicit to the act. Women (and some men) need to stand against this abuse – find the supports necessary to get out of this. Talk to someone; don’t keep silent. And for the sake of your children protect them. Stop the pattern.
Hope Mission is one of the places where we want to see these supports increased.